Lampoon.net

"Quickies - Vol. 94"

NYTimes writer Bob Herbert...........

"What the US needs is as much serious diplomatic engagement on all fronts as possible, and an end to the Bush administration's insane addiction to war - ever more war - as the answer to the world's ills. The US especially needs to be deeply involved in the effort to establish peace between Israel and its neighbors."


NYTimes Paul Krugman....

"The hard truth is that Israel needs, for its own sake, to stop a bombing campaign that is making its enemies stronger, not weaker."


Fouad Siniora.............

"Is the value of human life less in Lebanon than that of citizens elsewhere?" - Prime Minister of Lebanon.


Writer Peter W. Galbraith..........

"Yes, a US withdrawal from the Shiite and Sunni Arab regions of Iraq would leave behind sectarian conflict and militia rule. But staying with the current force and mission will produce the same result. Continuing a military strategy where the ends far exceed the means is a formula for war without end."


NY bumper sticker.............

"We are making enemies faster than we can kill them."


You've Got Mail...........

Hey Jerry, We are condemned to the consequences of the apathy of others. - RGS


You've Got Mail........

Hi Jerry, Tell RGS it's a cruel world. - Big Ed.


Amnesty International........

"Security agents in Jordan are torturing suspects on behalf of the US in hopes of forcing confessions.


You've Got Mail.........

Hey Jerry, Tell Amnesty International, it's a cruel world. - Big Ed.


Forests..............

Help convert carbon dioxide in the atmosphere to oxygen. "They took all the trees and put em in a tree museum and they charged the people a dollar and a half to see them. No,no,no. Don't it always seem to go That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone - They paved paradise and put up a parking lot. - Joni Mitchell.


Robert Louis Stevenson...........

"Sooner or later, we sit down to a banquet of consequences."


OIL....................

Finding more oil is NOT the answer. Why? Because oil causes global warming, pollution and disease. Why sweat the gasoline if we can't breathe? Biofuels is the key.


Campaign reform...........

As long as politicians need mega bucks to get elected or reelected, the Corpocracy will rule America. How sad is that?


This just in..........

According to health officials, one billion people is predicted to die from tobacco this century. Are you dying for a cigarette? Hello?


This just in..........

One child or teen dies from gunfire every 3 hours in the United States. "Guns don't kill kids, bullets kill kids." [:-[


This just in........

The first half of 2006 was the warmest on record for the United States. The GOP recommends turning the AC up. [:-{


This just in.........

60% of the United States is on a drought alert.

Can Americans handle the 'C' word?


It was hot yesterday...........

How hot was it? It was soo hot my Super Strawberry Smoothie evaporated, along with my girlfriend. Gosh, how I miss that drink. It was soo hot businessmen went to work wearing only a very long tie. It was soo hot I cooked a pound of pasta in the swimming pool. [:-)


Loosely translated..............

"Thank you for not paying attention." - Karl Rove to American voters.


Loosely translated.......

"When you have a man by his 'chutzpah' his heart and mind follows." - LBJ


Rep. Major Owens [D-NY].........

"Under President Bush's watch, millions more Americans have joined the ranks of the poor, including nearly one million African - Americans. On the other hand, we are building new jet-fighters that can kill evil doers around the world & up your block. [:-[


You've Got Mail..........

Hey Jerry, I wish the media would stop referring to President Bush as a cowboy. Unlike George,

cowboys are smarter than their horse. - C-Span caller. [:-)


This just in...........

9 out of 10 cannibals recommend apple cider vinegar to help lower bad cholesterol levels.

[:-)


James Madison.............

"The accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive and judiciary in the same hands, whether of one, a few or many, and whether heredity, self-appointed or elective, may justly be pronounced the very definition of tyranny."


NYTimes Paul Krugman.............

"Today we call them neoconservatives, but in the 1980's, those who believed that America could remake the world to its liking with a series of splendid little wars were know as,

"the crazies." [:-)


Thomas Jefferson.........

"Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government."


George Washington.........

"The spirit of encroachment tends to consolidate the powers of all the departments in one, and thus to create, whatever form of government, a real despotism."


Mark Twain.............

"Support the country all the time and the government when it earns it."


History lesson.............

In September, 2003, 27 Israel pilots condemned airstrikes in the West Bank and Gaza Strip as

"immoral" and refused to fly such sorties.


This just in............

Mickey Spillane, aka, Mike Hammer dies at 88.

"Those big-shot writers could never dig the fact that there are more salted peanuts consumed than cavier." - MS


My friend Sad Sam.............

"I prefer the organic treatment to cure my sexual dysfunction problems. Her name is, Honey."

[:-o)


This just in........

As we all know, Harry Potter dies in the final chapter of his life. [don't we all?] But, how does Harry kick the bucket? Rumor has it that God was furious that Harry made friends with an openly gay man. How gay was he? He wasn't merely gay, he was really, most sincerely gay! "Any friend of a gay person, is an enemy of mine,"said the Lord. So Harry drowned in a huge vat of Holy water. [:-0


My friend Sad Sam........

"Drugs support terrorists, so get stoned with alcohol & support capitalists." [:-o)


Love is funny or it's sad, but beautiful..

When enough water is applied, the biggest flame, dies. [:-[



Best Wishes Always - Jerry.

E-mail Jerry
Contents
Home

Copyright ©2005 lampoon.net, All Rights Reserved
info@lampoon.net

Netweb Consultants, Inc.
web site designed and maintained by: Netweb Consultants Inc.
631-224-1244