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This just in. . .
Reporter : Mr. Rumsfeld, do you consider yourself to be a war expert?
Rumsfeld : Well son, I may not be a war expert, but I did stay @ a Holiday Inn last night. [:-o)
Mundo Uno. . .
The only legal US citizens are the American Indians.
Geronimo : "I told my people to secure the borders,; but did they listen?"
Sitting Bull : These illegals don't even speak our language & they keep singing, "Don't Fence Me In." [:-)
On June 2nd the Pentagon. . .
Plans to detonate a 700 ton explosive @ The Nevada Test Site. This news makes me feel less secure. When are we going to test our skill @, working & playing well with others? [:-[
My friend Sad Sam. . .
"You wanna talk security? My cousin is a census-taker in China. [:-0
Don't you just hate it. . .
When liberal judges allow junkies to plea bargain? Right-wing radio jock, Rush Limbaugh cut a deal that will let him off the hook if he stays with his drug rehab program for 18 months. [:-)
400 Dolphins. . .
Washed up dead in Tanzania. The dolphins may have been poisoned by toxic 'red tides' of algae. However, the US Navy acknowledged that sonar contributes to the stranding of dolphins. [:-[
Energy Dilemma. . .
We need to;
A. Conserve.
B. Upgrade Mass Transportation.
C. Think 4cyl. vehicles.
D. Develop ENVIRONMENTALLY friendly fuel.
E. Remember, pollution causes disease.
F. Remember, if we can't breathe, why sweat the gasoline? [:-0
Coincidence you say?. . .
Ever notice how, Bush rhythms with tush? [:-)
My friend Sad Sam. . .
"When your current affairs are ancient history, time to review social studies." [:-)
Bumper stickers by Jerry. . .
Why impeach King George?
Bush doesn't know a habeas from a corpus.
Bush doesn't WARRANT our respect.
Neocons = Global control freaks.
Boycott Exxon Mobil.
Clean air = Oxymoron.
Pollution = Disease.
Global Warming = Red alert.
Lampoon.net = Satire
Guns don't kill people, bullets kill people.
Darfur = Genocide
New book, "America Back On Track."
By EMK. "The best way to change the direction of America is to change leaders, and the voting booth is the place to do it." - Senator Edward M. Kennedy. [D-Mass.]
This just in. . .
41% of working-age Americans with moderate to middle incomes had no health insurance in 2004 - up from 28% in 2001. [:-[
Mayor Bloomberg [ NY ] wants. . .
A. Maximum punishment for illegal gun crimes.
B. Target dealers who knowingly sell guns to shady middlemen.
C. Oppose federal efforts to restrict cities' rights to gun-sale data.
D. Develop technologies for tracing illegal guns.
F. Invite other cities to join new national efforts.
[:-)
My friend Sad Sam. . .
"I'm working on a musical/comedy";
Alice loves Billy.
Billy marries Cindy.
Alice hires Dave to seduce Cindy.
The plot works.
Billy and Cindy get divorced.
Alice marries Billy.
Cindy becomes a Scientologist.
Alice and Dave have an affair.
Billy gets divorced and becomes a Scientologist.
Billy and Cindy remarry and have a 'quiet' birth.
They name the baby, Eric.
Billy and Cindy are heartbroken when Eric becomes a psychiatrist.
Alice and Dave go to Eric for therapy.
Billy and Cindy appear on the Larry King Show,
to share their pain. [:-0
The Bush administration. . .
Telling the American people the truth is rarer than a gay person visiting the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas. [:-0
Senator John Kerry [D-Mass]. . .
"The most dangerous defeatists, the most dispiriting pessimists, are those who invoke September 11th to argue that our traditional values are a luxury we can no longer afford."
This just in. . .
A newly found manuscript tells us Jesus asked Judas to betray him to the Roman authorities. The 1,700 year old document appears genuine.
The only mystery is, at the bottom of the page, it says, "This article was sent to you by, Iscariot@aol.com" [:-o)
Bertrand Russell & Albert Einstein. . .
"The choice facing the world is stark and dreadful and inescapable: shall we put an end to the human race; or shall mankind renounce war?"
New book. . .
"Failed States," by Noam Chomsky. "Cut back sharply on military spending and sharply increase social spending." [:-)
This just in. . .
71% of Americans now believe global warming is real. Let's hope the folks @ the White House feel the heat. [:-)
Al Gore. . .
"The rapid accumulation of global-warming pollution in the Earth's atmosphere is now confronting human civilization with a crisis like no other we have encountered." The Bible says, "Where there is no vision, the people perish."
Actress Pamela Anderson. . .
"When people think of Canadian Club, they should think of a good whisky, not jerks beating pups on the ice." [:-)
Gas. . .
You know something is wrong with the economy when it is more beneficial to steal the gasoline instead of the car. [:-0
We should all ride Mustangs & Broncos. . . the 4 legged ones. [:-)
So the gas station attendant said; "Cash, charge, or first born?" [:-o)
Writer Michael Levi. . .
"In the end, the nuclear option [Iran] makes little sense - and flirting with it undermines the American stance against nuclear proliferation.
Taking nuclear weapons decisively off the table would reinforce the taboo against the bomb, and make American actions to oppose proliferation more effective."
Editors note: Brazil working on nukes.
Writer Howard Zinn. . .
"We are penned in by the arrogant idea that this country [America] is the center of the universe, exceptionally virtuous, admirable, superior."
Massachusetts. . .
Is the first state with universal health coverage.
"With the signing of this landmark health reform bill, after so many years of false starts, our actions have finally matched our words and we have lived up to our ideals." - Senator Ted Kennedy. [:-)
Dear Jerry. . .
Huey Long was 1/3 right;
When fascism came to America:
It was wrapped in an American flag,
It was holding a Bible,
It was standing on piles of money. - R.G.S.
Dear Jerry. . .
The middle class is CONSUMING itself into extinction. You can't be a little bit pregnant and you can't be a little bit democratic. - R.G.S.
Dear Jerry. . .
A hammer of unbridled GREED Is breaking democracy on an anvil of fundamentalism. - R.G.S.
If you are a tweaker [crystal meth abuser] and you don't get into rehab, ASAP, then you are cool with being a masochist. [:-[
The Civil War in Iraq. . .
Has forced over 100,000 families to flee their homes and live in tents. [:-{
Sinatra once sang. . .
Spring is here!
Why doesn't my heart go dancing?
Spring is here!
Why isn't the waltz entrancing?
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