Lampoon.net

"Quickies - Vol. 58"


Cartoon by Chris Patterson
Gag by Jerry Sangiamo
web site

New vote . . .

Soon the Senate will vote on a bill that will grant blanket immunity to gun dealers and manufactures - even if they sell weapons to murders or terrorists. NRA successfully lobbied Congress to pass this bill. Urge you to write your Senator and say, "I'm mad as hell and not going to take it anymore." More children die from gunfire in America than any other nation. How sad is that?


Guns R Us . . .

In 2001, 28,913 people were killed by guns in the US. We need new gun control laws! Hope you visit, www.millionmommarch.com


Riddle me this . . .

What remedy did the Veterinarian Email to Sam the Skunk?
Answer:
"Take 2 baths & call me in the morning." [:-)


Go figure . . .

By 2008 the US government will be $8.6 trillion in debt.
Thank God Republicans in charge. More tax cuts? LOL


You've Got Mail . . .

Hey Jerry,
Is President Bush slip, sliding away in the polls?
Signed, Political Animal in Pan America.

Dear Political Animal,
Do rabbits like to multiply?
Signed, U R Wright.


Conservative, George F Will . . .

Where are WMD? George, I feel your pain.


Off on the road to liberation? . . .

Does one country have the right to attack another country in the name of liberation?
Fugheddaboutit!


Conservative, William Safire . . .

"Drop the premature conclusion that if we can't find destructive weapons, they never existed."
Hey Bill, that snake won't slither. Nice try. [:-)


New Rosemary Woods . . .

Deputy national security adviser, Stephen J. Hadley to blame for allowing faulty intelligence to appear in Bush's State of the Union speech? CIA warned White House TWICE in Oct. Hmmm? Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld,Rice and Powell absent that month? {:-)


Such GREED . . .

The World's oceans are being overfished. Also, more whale hunts occurring. How sad is that? Have we no sense of decency?


Johnny Mercer and Harold Arlen . . .

Once wrote a song. The last lines of the song are . . .
"Man they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No! Don't mess with Mister In- Between."


You've Got Mail . . .

Hi Jerry,
I'm responding to your ad in the Wall Street Journal. While I am not financially blessed, I do have 2 enormous assets.
Signed, Marilyn Mellons.

Dear Marilyn,
Close enough. My place or yours?
Signed, Jerry Fundsrlo. /:-)


Fictitious statement . . .

OK for President Bush to lie about WMD to the American people because he was not under oath?
Sorry, but that banana won't peel. Hope you visit,
www.wedeservethetruth.com



Best Wishes Always - Jerry.



E-mail Jerry
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