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New miracle drug . . .
1 tiny pill @ nite produces 2 huge hooters in the morning. Ask for, "Kniceknockers." {:-)
Hair raising experience
Why is it when I leave the barber shop I need to rush home and comb my hair?
Say what? . . .
"Good luck on your wedding and many, many more."
Scratch golfer . . .
If you shoot par in the rain are you a 'mutter- putter'? [:-)
Excuse me? . . . .
So, my Pharmacist said to me, "The most common side effect of this new wonder drug is permanent brain damage. But in your case Jerry, that's a minimal risk." {:-o)
I Meant To Do My Work Today . . .
I meant to do my work today-
But a brown bird sang in the apple tree
And a butterfly filtered across the field,
And all the leaves were calling me,
And the wind went sighing over the land
Tossing the grasses to and fro,
And a rainbow held out its shining hand -
So what could I do but laugh and go?
Richard Le Gallienne [1866-1947]
Meat Market . . .
Hollywood celebrities expose more skin
than folks at a nudist convention. [:-o)
New WWF tag team match . . .
Pay-Per-View only! No holds barred!!
Harry Potter and the Hulk Vs Mike Tyson
and Tanya Harding. Winners to face,
Rush Lambaugh and Ann Coulter!!!
WMD . . .
Easier to find a T206 Honus Wagner
baseball card than weapons of mass
destruction in you know where.
Good news, bad news . . .
"The good news is the store had a lost
and found department. The bad news
is, they found his wife. {:-)
Inquiring minds want to know . . .
Why are Ant eaters common but Uncle
eaters scarce? [:-)
Doctor's Hotline . . .
Hello, welcome to medical assistance.
If you want to pay a bill, press 1.
If you have a credit card, press 2.
If you want a copy of your statement, press 3.
If you want to make a donation, press 4.
If you want to volunteer, press 5.
If you have an emergency, call back later.
To hear this message again, press 6.
Good bye.
You can bank on it . . .
If JK Rowling married me, I guarantee
she would lose many pounds. {:-)
Food for thought . . .
President Bush wants EU to drop ban on
bioengineered food. Europeans say no way.
Hmm? What will Bush do? Would you believe,
penalties and threats? This administration has
replaced diplomacy with bullyism.
Magic trick . . .
Pitcher, Roger Clemens selling 300th win ball
to......10,000 fans. [:-)
Ancient words of wisdom . . .
"Penny with dust on it, look like dime." {:-)
Sex crime? . . .
Right wing columnist, George F Will is opposed
to lap dancing being legal in America. Lap dancing
obscene? War is obscene. Hunger is obscene. Neglect is obscene. George, you need to chill out and get a life man.
Bill O'Reilley . . .
Bill believes 5 Supreme Court Justices are not clear
thinking Americans. Yes, according to B.O. the Supremes are charlatans who push racial politics.
Hey Bill, Affirmative Action is about pay backs. Get over it and move on.
This just in . . .
Dixie Chicks hotter than Charlie's Angels.
Happy and healthy 4th of July. God bless America
and our freedom to protest.
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