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Truth Best Satire . . .
* Donald Rumsfeld can't remember if this administration discussed leaving permanent US troop force in Iraq.
* US tells Iran not to interfere with sovereign state of Iraq.
* US bars UN inspectors in Iraq.
* Oil pumping before water restored in Iraq.
* OJ Simpson wants to cover Robert Blake murder trial.
Right-wing Columnist, Charles Krauthhammer . . .
"All we need to get suffering Iraqis on the road to recovery is to lift the embargo and let them sell their oil." Hmmm?
Saddam Hussein has been saying that for 12 years.
Pope John Paul . . .
"The Iraqi people should determine their future."
No weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq. United Nations, for all your faults, I love you still."
You can quote him . . .
"Our celebration will be perfect only when the American occupier is gone and the Iraqi people are able to rule themselves by the principles of Islam." Muhammad Thamer. Deputy to Grand Ayatollah Ali al - Sestani, Iraq's most senior Shiite cleric.
This just in . . . .
US to sell Iraq OIL and give money to Bechtel and Halliburton to rebuild country and oil wells we just destroyed. This plan is,"Operation Aren't We Wonderful?"
Us troops won't stay long in Iraq. Just till the wells run dry.
Philosophically speaking . . .
Whenever a liberal's heart bleeds, it reaffirms that liberals have hearts! Isn't that terrible?
You've Got Mail . . .
Hey Jerry! I date everyone. I'll even date you! Call toll free,1-800 H-o-t L-a-d-y
for my low, low rates.
Hug and kisses,
Joy
Dear Joy,
Thanks for Email. As it turns out, we both have the same hobby! For my low, low rates, call toll free, 1-800 B-i-g S-t-u-d.
Up All Nite,
Jerry
Words . . .
I've noticed no one ever says, 'Happy Christmas' or 'Merry Easter', especially on the 4th of July. [:-)
O. Henryesque . . .
Monday was born on Tuesday, engaged on Wednesday, married on Thursday, divorced on Friday, died on Saturday and was cremated on Sunday. The End. OK, OK, I admit this is a week short story.</:-)
William Sydney Porter [1862 - 1910] wrote, "The Gift of the Magi" and 300 other short stories.
Letter to the editor, NY Times . . .
Sir,
This is to inform you that after A comes B, not D. Also, here's an idea, try putting the sports section, right side up in your paper.
Thank you,
Jerry
Baseball rumor . . .
Manager, Joe Torre may be in trouble with the NY Yankees. Owner, George Steinbrenner inquiring if Billy Martin still available. {:-)
Love note . . .
Hey April!
Remember me? We met several years ago in Paris, at the October-fest. Our relationship lasted through November. Why was December so cold to us? Did I March to a different drum? I had hoped for a January thaw. As you know, we are still in the golden warm September of our years. So, I was wondering, May I visit you and your sister, June, in July?
Fondly,
Augustus.
PS, I dream of you every February 14th!
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