Lampoon.net

You want me to go to Atlantic City? I don't think so. Every time I throw money in the tollbooth change machine, the light stays red.

Fighting the tide: That's a person on the Atlantic City Boardwalk, handing out flyers about the evils of gambling.

Never say die: That's a person who has his corpse frozen.

My family is cursed. My Grandfather had his corpse frozen. The next day, we had a blackout.