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Dear Jerry,

I want your body and I think you are sexy. I'm 5'2, eyes of blue and very, very hot. You can write to me c/o, Women's House of Detention. New York, U.S.A.

Dear Jerry,

I want your body and I think you are sexy. And if I ever leave the Convent, I will look you up.

Dear Jerry,

Take my wife, please!

Dear Jerry,

I want your body and I think you are sexy. Let's get married. I have millions of dollars. You can E-mail me @ www.HappyDaleSaniterrium.com

Dear Jerry,

I don't want your body and I don't think you are sexy. However, if you have a valid credit card. . .

"It's Murder."

by Mickey Spillpaine.

Chapter One

The maid screamed. Everyone in the mansion ran to her bedroom.

And why shouldn't they? It was no secret the maid enjoys wearing naughty nities. Junior got his first eyeful. Or has he been videotaping the saucy servant? No one seemed to notice the butler was absent.

Or is Jeeves on vacation? The head of the house, discreetly slipped away to the Head, in the house. Or did Richard really go to the liquor cabinet to seek out his favorite bottle of Scotch on the top shelf?

But why did the maid scream? Monique said she saw a mouse. Or is that her pet name for Pepe,the gardener?

Meanwhile the chauffeur was searching the lower lobby. Or is it the basement? Fritz was looking for his bosses wife. He won't find her because Sue is in the attic, playing spin the bottle with her husband's sister, Jane.

And where exactly is the Cook? Bruce is in the kitchen, using his P.C. to log on to his favorite Web Site, www.DelightfulDanishHunks.com Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, 'it's murder ' living in this Castle. Or is it Rook?

Fin.

Yesterday I decided to go shark fishing, just for the halibut. {:-)

New book. . .

"Blinded By The Right." by David Brock

Very interesting. Thanks Dave.

Weapons of mass destruction. . .

The new Arms agreement with Russia allows the United States to store the excess warheads rather than destroy them. Hmmmmm?

Decisions, decisions, decisions. . .

Jerry: What kind of coffee do you have?

Waiter: We have regular, regular regular and regular regular regular coffee.

Jerry: I guess the regular regular is twice as regular as the regular coffee.

Waiter: Everyone makes that mistake. Actually, the regular regular is three times as regular as the regular coffee.

Jerry: And the regular regular regular?

Waiter: The regular regular regular is less regular than the regular regular but more regular than the regular coffee.

Jerry: Are you the regular waiter here?

Waiter: I'm the regular regular regular waiter. The regular waiter and the regular regular waiter are off today. So, what will it be?

Jerry: I'll have. . . a glass of milk.

Relief. . .

Last night I had a throbbing headache. So, I took 2 extra strength Placebos. They did the trick. {:-)