Lampoon.net

"Quickies - Vol. 31"

It's only temporary. . .

Due to extreme bankruptcy Harry was forced to leave his beloved New York and move to New Jersey and live with his parents. Before he left he told his friends, I shall return as soon as my ship comes in. Harry was true to his word. His ship never came in so he never returned to the Big Apple. When he died [50 years later.]

Harry was buried at the, "New Jersey Resting Place for the Very Dead." [ Just off Rt. 70; take the Jug Handle.]

You are old. . .

When all the barber can do is trim your eyebrows.

To be or not to be depressed. . .

A. When are my dreams going to come true?

B. How fortunate I'm not living a nightmare!

The choice is yours.

United Nations. . .

This writer supports the peace efforts of the U.N. Sometimes all we have is hope. Hope can save the day. I'm proud of President Bush for working with many countries to resolve the crises. God bless his wisdom.

Best Wishes Always - Jerry.