Lampoon.net
"Quickies - Vol. 25" |
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| Told my boss, “ I will work week-ends the day they invent purple ketchup.” It was hot today. How hot was it? It was so hot, Bugs Bunny moved in with Cecil Turtle. It was hot today in Texas. How hot was it? It was so hot all the vultures fainted. This just in…. Scientists want to create a new race of slaves. The secret project is called, “Send In The Clones.” I’m heavy. How heavy am I? I’m so heavy my wheelchair needs truck tires. My Uncle is cautious. How cautious is he? He’s so cautious, he wears suspenders to hold up his socks. Extremely difficult quiz ; Who said, “We need a permanent, independent Commission to oversee the New York City Police Department.”?
Sure hope, one fine day, Bill Goichberg, C.E.O. of the Continental Chess Association, gets elected to the, ‘Chess Hall of Fame.’ Bill is the greatest chess promoter in the World and a man filled with integrity. chesstour.com And that's the absolute truth..... Fox Cable TV. news is fair and balanced, just like Katherine Harris, Florida's Secretary of State. And if you believe that, I've got a Verrazano Bridge I'd like to sell you. Reading comprehension...... U.S. Attorney General, John Ashcroft [Poster Boy for the N.R.A.] is having a difficult time interpreting the 2nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. John, think MILITIA. You know you failed when you hear the mocking laughter of seagulls. Don’t despair. Reach down deep into your soul and find the courage to continue. Never surrender. Never. Good luck and best wishes, Jerry. Have several cartoon gags. Seeking new cartoonist. E-mail, JerrySatire@aol.com Do you know the comedy of, Bob and Ray ? www.bobandray.com The best of radio laughter! |
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