Lampoon.net
"Quickies - Vol. 22" |
| This just in….. Texas Gov. Rick Perry vetoed a bill to ban the execution of mentally retarded Death Row inmates. I don’t get it. Doesn’t the Gov. want to protect his fellow politicians in the Lone Star state? The doctor said, “I have bad news and good news. The bad news is, you are going to die. The good news is , I’m going to keep you alive long enough for you to pay all your medical bills.” Environmentalists have a K.I.S.S. for Pres. Bush ; Keep It Safe Stupid Once a year the United States Post Office collects food for the hungry. What a wonderful program!!! Thank you Mail-carriers of America for your compassion. The new President of the American Medical Association, Dr. Richard Corlin, must be a Pinko, Commie gorilla. Why else would he want us to do research on gun trigger locks and find ways to reduce accidental shootings and to study how youngsters obtain weapons of mass destruction. [guns] ? Yesterday I received an emergency E-mail from Psychic Sally. The E-mail said ; Dear Jerry, It is most urgent that you contact me immediately at the following number 1-800-N-u-V-i-b-e-s. While it is true we never met, last night I had a dream about you. In my dream your E-mail address was revealed to me. You must contact me at once. I have important, private information for you. Hurry, this is very, very, very serious. So call the above number now!!! [provided you have a valid credit card] It is vital that you call. Your future health, happiness, love, wealth and sex life are at stake. |
Trust In Me, Psychic Sally. |
| I did not reply to this E-mail. I figured Psychic Sally already received my negative vibes. www.wapd.org is a wonderful Web Site for disabled people. I’m often in the chat room. My handle is, JerryS Hope you say hello. Are you a new comedy writer? Are you a new stand -up comic? Are you Anna Nicole Smith? Why not send me an E-mail? Let’s talk!!! My E-mail is, JerrySatire@aol.com Everyone is welcome to send comments about www.lampoon.net |
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