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"Quickies - Vol. 21"

This just in…….Charlton Heston was elected to a fourth term as President of the N.R.A. [ Guns 'R Us ] I am told that Gun mascot, Eddie Eagle finished second in the voting and the late John Wayne placed third. Many N.R.A. members appreciate Semi-Automatic weapons with large Ammo clips. However Mr. Heston is partial to 200 year old Muskets. Rumor has it that Charlton has crazy-glued his favorite Musket to his Hands. Generally, this is not a problem, except when Nature calls. [At Least he keeps his powder dry.] Charlton Heston asks us to remember That Semi-Automatic weapons with large ammo clips don't kill people, People kill people.

The Supreme Court, in a 7-2 decision, ordered the P.G.A. Tour to allow Disabled golfer, Casey Martin to ride a cart during Tournaments. Said Mr. Martin, "I'm just grateful to know the cart is there and it can't Be taken away." This ruling strengthens the A.D.A. Law and therefore is A sweet victory for all disabled Americans. Said Mr. Martin, "If this can open doors for people in Sports, in golf, or Just life in general, then I think that's great." P.G.A. Tour Officials said They would, "fully review and evaluate the Court's decision." Are these Clowns serious? Said Mr. Martin, "If I had a choice between riding a cart and having a healthy leg, I'd take the healthy leg." Thank you, Casey Martin for Standing so very tall.

My computer friend gave me an extra mouse. Does that mean I now Have mice?