"QUICKIES - VOL. 13"
QUICKIES- VOL. 13 Compassionate Conservative: He wants to make sure all of our death chambers are wheelchair accessible.
The prison population in the U.S. has reached an all time high. [nearly 2 million.] At least Texas and Florida are helping to reduce the number of inmates.
My friend Weasel told me, "I know I should quit cigarettes but my wife keeps insisting, one day second hand smoke is going to kill her."
Airports now have new Scanners that can see right through our clothes. If you would like to view along with the Agents, log on to, Naked Airport Passengers.com
CNN's Larry King asked Joe Lieberman for his solutions to, the Ebola Virus, the West Nile Virus and the E-coli bacteria problem. Said Joe, "Chicken soup, chicken soup, chicken soup."
Contraceptives are great for….power surges.
The North American Bridge Championship ended this past summer in Anaheim, Calif. The Micro-Soft team finished 50th out of 52 competitors. Whined Bill Gates, "We should have won the tourney but we kept getting Penalized.
The World Wide Web features sexy, Cindy Margolis. Boy, would I like to log on to her!
How can we tell when a married woman has, a lover, a boyfriend and a girlfriend? That's easy. She's the one who always orders, 'the everything bagel.'
The following poem is dedicated to my ex-girlfriend ;
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Nay, nay I say.
Better to….a winter's night A cold and dreary sight.
The state of Texas is getting tough with noise polluters. Starting next week, all concealed weapons must be equipped with Silencers.
No truth to the rumor that the Concord uses Firestone tires.
My favorite actress? Meg [sleepless in London.] Ryan.
Asked if he considers himself the, Babe Ruth of golf, Tiger Woods quipped, "No way. I hate hot dogs."
Using vouchers to solve our Public School crises is like using bubble gum to stop a leak.
2001 is the new Millenium? Man, that was a fast century.
I understand this Christmas my ex-girlfriend is getting me brand new….. Firestone tires.
Little 7 year old Billy was gravely ill in the hospital. The Doctors said only the Mets helped to brighten his spirits. After game two of the,2000 World Series, Billy read Mike Piazza's column. Wrote Mike, "It's time to continue this blinking World Series. It's time to beat the blinking Yankees." After the World Series, right before he died, little Billy said, "Blink the blinking Mets." Let's Go Mets !!!!
I understand in Spring Training,2001, Roger [ I thought it was a ball.] Clemens plans to take extra awareness practice. This is a ball, this is a bat, this is a ball, this is a bat.
Told my new girlfriend, "Life is short my sweet,
Soon we'll be down six feet.
And when you're dead,
You're no fun in bed.
It's time to go be fine,
Your place or mine?"
I was going to vote but ……..
Had to visit an old boat
To check out it's new coat
And to wonder, if it could possibly float
While carrying a make believe goat
And still navigate an imagined moat.
Everyone take note
It is this that I wrote
I was going to vote.
Since illegal drugs come into America from many different Countries, please don't tell me illegal drugs are the reason why the U.S. is getting entangled in Columbia. The ugly truth is Corporate America wants a slice of the South American Oil pie.
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