Lampoon.net

The audacity of false hope...........

We hope the Afghans want us on their land.
We hope they want our form of government.
We hope they bring our troops flowers.
We hope they give our soldiers candy.
We hope our bombs only kill evil folks in Af-Pak land.
We hope to build an oil pipe line. And we won't come back, till it's over, over there. [:-[
Editor's note : The second biggest mistake by the Obama administration is, 'prolonged detention'. The first being, getting involved in a ground war in Afghanistan. [:-[


Gays...................

If 50% of gay marriage failed, that figure would only be..........normal. [:-)


Around the world & up your block..........

*Narwhales are most threatened by global warming.
*Between 3,500 & 7,500 snow leopards remain in the wild.
Sprawl : To kill our wildlife & rape our wilderness. [:-[

Bill Sorice / Playwright & friend..........
www.coldginproductions.com


FYI..............

In 1923 the US Attorney General determines it is legal for women to....................wear trousers. [:-0


Martin Luther King, Jr.......................

"A right delayed is a right denied." Gay folks need equal rights TODAY!!!


This just in....................

Climate change is turning the oceans more acid in a trend that would endanger everything from clams to coral and be irreversible for thousands of years, international science academies said.


Review.....................

Dick Cheney is one of a few people that didn't like the new Star Trek film. He said sitting through the movie was pure torture. [:-0


The Germans tell us.............

To achieve fame, we need the 4 gs ; Gedanke - Geduld - Geld - Gluck. Thinking - Patience - Money - Luck. [:-)


As time goes by...............

Yesterday, we said, "I feel naked without my watch."
Today, we say, "I feel naked without my cell phone."
[:-)


Very difficult play.............

Trying to catch a bus, with or without a glove, is a very tricky & tresuous task. [:-0


Limbo.......................

A person barred from Senate, through no fault of his own. ie : Al Franken. [:-[


My friend Sad Sam...........

Hey Jerry - My friend Gary the gangster is dumb. How dumb is he? He's soo dumb, he has a violin in his violin case. [:-0


Nice job..........

Our Astronauts fixed the Hubble Telescope. They unplugged the unit, waited 10 minutes, then plugged it back in. [:-0


This just in...................

Massive ice chunks [1,300 square miles of ice] are crumbling away from a shelf in the western Antarctic Peninsula. [:-[




NYTimes, Paul Krugman on torture.......

"We need to do this [prosecute] for the sake of our future. For this isn't about looking backward, it's about looking forward - because it's about reclaiming America's soul."
Editor's note : Hello?


UN Secretary General..............

Ban Ki-moon ; "World leaders should respond with the same urgency to climate change that they're giving the global financial crisis."


NYTimes quotation of the day..........

"If you wanted to create a system that is basically legal but designed to facilitate gun trafficking, you couldn't have a better system than you have here."
Tom Diaz, a researcher with the Violence Project in Washington, on the flow of guns from the US to Mexican drug cartels." [:-[


Writer, Jeffrey Sachs..............

"Human pressures on the Earth's ecosystems and climate, unless mitigated substantially, will cause dangerous climate change, massive species extinctions, and the destruction of vital - life support functions. Global capitalism is the runaway train on witch we're all held hostage. And each extreme summer may be inching us closer to the precipice of catastrophic environmental change." [:-[
Editor's note : Anyone home?


And.....................

New satellite measurements indicate the Arctic's reserve of thick ice that's more than 2 years old makes up 10% of its winter ice cover, compared with 40% in previous decades.
Editor's note : If you're not thinking green, you're not thinking.


Mother Jones Magazine.............

Shares of revenues that hard rock mining companies pay for operating on public land : 0%. Estimated cost of cleaning up the 500,000 abandoned mines in the US : about $32 billion.
Editor's note : How sad is that?


Love is funny, or it's sad, but beautiful..........

Soo, in MySpace I wrote : "And I'm funny too." [:-)


You've Got Mail...............

Hey - Jerry, "And I'm funny too." ? Give it up my friend, give it up. - Big Ed. LOL.



Best Wishes,
Jerry 
JerrySatire@aol.com

www.Lampoon.net