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Why?.......................................
Because we need to come home from Iraq.
Because we lack diplomacy.
Because we need to reverse global warming.
Because we need to end pollution.
Because we need to honor habeas corpus.
Because we need to honor the Bill of Rights.
Because we need to honor our Constitution.
Because we need to honor International Laws.
Because we need to conserve.
Because we need new energy sources.
Because we need to protect our wildlife.
Because we need to protect our wilderness.
Because we need National Health Care.
Because we need to protect Social Security.
Because we need to end poverty.
Because we need new [GREEN] jobs.
Because we need to balance the Budget.
Because our economy sucks.
Because the US dollar is weak.
Because we need to raise the minimum wage.
Because we need to reinvest in Education.
Because we need to reinvest in Transportation
Because we need to stop torturing suspects.
Because we need warrants before we spy.
Because oil & coal pollute.
Because John McCain thinks it's funny to sing about bombing Iran.
Because Sarah Palin gets text messages from God.
Because I love America, I am endorsing the Obama / Biden ticket. [:-)
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US politics 101..............
*Democrats throw the people a bone.
*Republicans try to take the bone away.
*We need to remove the 'money-factor' from our elections.
You've Got Mail.............
Jerry - Congratulations on the 10th anniversary of Lampoon.net, and I wasn't drunk @ the 2008 Summer Olympics in China. - G.W.B.
Jerry - Your enemies are in their last throes. - D.C.
Jerry - They are repainting my name on the oil tanker. - Condi.
Jerry - The Lampoon Conventions are quaint. - A.G.
Jerry - I'm not sure about waterboarding, but Lampoon.net is not torture. - M.M.
Jerry - Lampoon.net is the gift that keeps on giving. - K.R.
Jerry - I'm the king of radio & you're the king of Lampoon.net - R.L.
Jerry - Does Lampoon.net need a mortgage? - Fannie & Freddie.
Jerry - When I'm not thinking about cutting Social Services, I think about Lampoon.net -J.Mc.
Jerry - God told me to build an Alaskan oil pipe line & to always visit your Site. - S.P.
Today....................
9 year old : "Dad, I blew my allowance, soo I need a bail-out."
Dad : "Sorry, no bail-out, no merger. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps & go ask your Mother." [:-o)
Around the world & up your block...............
* The goliath grouper is now endangered.
* The snapper is badly over fished.
* Humpback whales in the Arabian Sea are now listed as "endangered."
Sprawl : To kill our wildlife & rape our wilderness. [:-[
Republican Party..............
The economy is sound & nothing can go wrong, go wrong, go wrong...[:-0
Halloween...........
This season, children will be getting I.O.Us instead of candy, I kid you not. [:-[
Overheard.............
"Meet me tomorrow morning @ 10AM on the corner of Wall Street & Bankrupt Blvd." [:-0
I don't think so..................
Boss : Why didn't you text me?
Secretary : Would you believe the dog ate my BlackBerry? [:-o)
This just in............
Recently, a man in a wheelchair rolled into a 7-11 store & stole 10 boxes of condoms and an energy drink. Editor's note : Since the thief didn't rob 'extra large' condoms, you know that I do not need an alibi. {:-)
My friend Sad Sam.............
Jerry - My girlfriend enjoys having unrequited sex with me. [:-0
[:-)
Hope you visit................
Love is funny or it's sad, but beautiful.......
Someone new. We chat every Sunday morning. [:-)
You've Got Mail...............
Jerry - If it doesn't work out, you'll always have Lampoon. - Big Ed. [:-)
Best Wishes,
Jerry
JerrySatire@aol.com
www.Lampoon.net
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