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This just in................
Iraq's Prime Minister, Nouri Al-Maliki has called for a withdrawal timetable of American troops from his country.
Editor's note : Hello?
Did you know?................
VP Cheney's office allegedly pushed to delete from congressional testimony references about the health consequences of climate change. [:-[
An inconvient truth................
The faster we drill for oil
The faster we drive
The faster we increase global warming
The faster our grandchildren will struggle to stay afloat. Happy motoring. {:-[
Flip - Flop....................
John McCain : He opposed the Bush tax cuts - now he supports their external extension. He was against offshore oil drilling - now he's for it. He was against torture, period - now he's against it unless the CIA does it. [:-[
My friend Sad Sam..............
Jerry - In 1958 I was 10 years old and I saw Tempest Storm do a stripe-tease act in Las
Vegas. [ I lied about my age.] In 2008 Tempest Storm is again doing a stripe-tease act in Las Vegas. [ she lied about her age.] [:-o)
Superfluous..............
Giving a rabbit Viagra. [:-0
Commonwealth Fund Report..........
Americans wait longer to see doctors and are more likely to die of preventable or treatable illnesses than people in other industrialized countries.
Editor's note : Rent the video, "Sicko" by you know who. [:-).
This just in...............
More than 400 baby penguins washed up dead on Rio de Janeiro's beaches. One theory is that OVERFISHING has forced the penguins to swim farther from shore to find food, leaving them more vulnerable to strong ocean currents. Sprawl : To kill our wildlife & rape our wilderness. [:-[
"The Dark Knight"................
Batman without Robin is like pastrami without mustard. And no, "The Dark Knight" is not about a chess piece coming to a fork in the road. [:-)
My friend Sad Sam..........
Jerry - I'm not a 'heads-up' person. Last night a sexy woman said to me, "Hey handsome, my place or yours?" And I said, "For what?" [:-0
Al Gore...........................
Wants America to be 'carbon-free' in ten years. [:-) [:-) [:-) [:-) [:-)
My friend Sad Sam............
Jerry - Last night I called Dr. Phil for some marital advice, but his wife said to try his girlfriend's home. [:-0
Robert F. Kennedy............
"Few will have the greatness to bend history; but each of us can work to change a small portion of the events, and in the total of all these acts will be written the history of this generation."
Editor's note : VOTE!!!
This just in..............
A Israeli committee has approved the construction of 22 NEW homes in a West Bank settlement. [:-[
To be soo human...............
We forgive our faults, but condemn the weaknesses of others. [:-o)
My friend Sad Sam.................
Jerry - I once said to my girlfriend; "I'll marry you when the Governor of NY announces he wants to sell the Brooklyn Bridge." [:-0
You've Got Mail...............
Hey Jerry - Why can't I approach a woman?
Signed - No Luck in North La.
Dear No Luck, Woman are like rabbits, they have 360 degree vision. Try a disguise.
- Jerry in Lakewood NJ.
My favorite John McCain quote.........
"Economics is not something I've understood." LOL.
Water on Mars...................
Each bottle comes with a bright red cap and contains no Earthly germs. Free shipping with
every 10,000 cases! [:-)
This just in..................
Our friends @ Exxon Mobil reported the highest quarterly profits ever by a US company. $ 11.68 BILLION [:-[ [:-[ [:-[ [:-[
This just in.................
Afghan leaders including President Hamid Karzari have accused NATO and the US-led coalition of recklessly endangering civilians by using excessive force, in residential areas. Editor's note : Time to come home, not send more troops. McCain & Obama are both wrong. When will we ever learn, when???
What's old, is new again...............
Due to high gas prices, folks are once again buying Mustangs & Broncos..........the 4 legged ones! [:-)
Inflation.....................
Today, a big bowl of bling gets you; 3 tomatoes, 2 oranges, and 1 lemon. [:-o)
Love is funny or it's sad, but beautiful...
My TLC therapist got married & moved to Hawaii. [:-[
You've Got Mail.............
Jerry - Got married? Poor baby. Big Ed. [:-)
Best Wishes,
Jerry
JerrySatire@aol.com
www.Lampoon.net
You've Got Mail...........
Jerry - Vacation? Think cold showers. Big Ed. [:-)
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