Lampoon.net

"Quickies - Vol. 112"

           
            Iraq.................

On Jan.10, 2008 US warplanes dropped 40,000 pounds of bombs on Iraq. On Jan. 20, 2008 we dropped another 40,000 pounds of bombs on Iraq. The surge is working soo well, the number of roadside bombs deployed by Iraqi militants spiked during the first two weeks of January, reaching the highest level since the fall. The Iraqi defense minister said recently that his nation will need US troops until at least 2018. No Civil War in Iraq & there is no recession in America. [:-[
Afghanistan is soo peaceful, we are sending another 3,500 troops to that country.[:-[

Editor's note : Time to come home from both countries.
Hello?



            
Help........................

Four year old Nicholas Principato has SEVERE health problems. His parents need our help. 'Especially the people, that's America to me.' Please visit........

                         www.benefitfornicholas.com
Thank you!!



            
This just in .................

Despite the Lou Dobbs temper-tantrums, most polls on immigration tells us that an average of six out of every 10 voters in the country would support legalization for undocumented immigrants with some kind of restrictions. [:-)




           "State Of The Unions"....................

By Philip M. Dine. "Phil Dine makes a compelling case that a much stronger labor movement in the years ahead is indispensable for restoring fairness for working families and reducing the widening income gap that is threatening the American dream for so many millions of our families." - Senator Edward M. Kennedy.
Editor's note : Read this book!!


          This just in...............

All cell phone numbers have been released to telemarketing companies and you may receive sales calls. You will be charged for these calls. To prevent this, call, from YOUR cell phone, 1-888-382-1222.


          This just in.................

A federal judge has ordered the Navy to adopt stringent new safeguards intended to improve protection of whales and dolphins during its sonar training exercises off Southern California. However, playing the national security card, President Bush told the Navy to ignore the Judge's order. [:-[




          
MLK..................

 Was killed on April 4, 1968 and I miss him still.
           www.mlkmemorial.org 


          Bobby Fischer dead at 64.............

Be there a chess player alive that doesn't know the name, Bobby Fischer? In 1972 Bobby became the World Chess Champion by crushing the, 'Soviet School of Chess'. Was he the best ever? Yes, and furthermore I'd like to say, he made it look easy. The King is dead.

                       www.chessgames.com




           Faith, Hope and Charity.............

For some folks, the more they have, the more they want.
Is this cool or un Christ like? When did helping others become unfashionable? [:-[


          Economy..............

Republicans : Recession. Go figure. 60% of US companies pay no income tax. Editor's note : As we all know, most Republicans can't walk & chew pretzels @ the same time. [:-)




          
"Sicko"................

 Rent this video. Time for National Health Care. Hello?


          Around the world & up your block...........

China's giant salamander may soon vanish. The federal government has opened 46,000 square miles off Alaska's northwest coast to oil and natural leases. Polar bears, whales and other marine life will suffer as a result. The Bush administration has delayed a decision whether to classify polar bears as a threatened species. 

George & Dick want to allow corporations to drill for oil & mine for coal in America's public lands, like Wyoming's Upper Green River Valley & Colorado's San Juan National Forest. Sprawl : To kill our wildlife & rape our wilderness. [:-[   www.earthjustice.org




           A few neighborhood picks..............

 L.G. : Obama, Richardson vs McCain, Huckabee, with Obama the winner.
 B.S. : Clinton, Richardson vs Romney, Huckabee, with Clinton the winner.
 J.S. : Clinton, Webb vs McCain, Giuliani, with Clinton the winner. [:-)


           
Thanks to.............

Sen. Charles Schmer & Rep. Caroyln McCarthy [NY] we have a new federal Bill that aims to stop the mentally ill from buying guns.
Editor's note : The NRA finally lost a round. [:-)
Required reading; US vs Miller, 1939.


             My friend Sad Sam..........

 Jerry - Every time I press my love-doll for sex, she deflates. [:-[


             An open letter............

 Dear Sweetheart, On Valentine's Day, won't you be my  Kama Sutra mate? The cartwheels should be sexually exciting, not to mention the stretching maneuvers!!
Lustfully -  Jerry [:-)


           Love is funny or it's sad, but beautiful.........

 My TLC therapist is an expert in her field & I'm glad. [:-)


           You've Got Mail...........

 Jerry, Ain't therapy grand? - Big Ed. [:-)



Best Wishes,
Jerry
 
JerrySatire@aol.com

www.Lampoon.net




Best Wishes Always - Jerry.

E-mail Jerry
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