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The way it is................
The former top commander of American forces in Iraq called the Bush administration's handling of the war "incompetent" and said the result was "a nightmare with no end in sight." Lt. Gen. Ricardo Sanchez blamed the Bush administration for a "catastrophically flawed, unrealistically optimistic war plan and denounced the current addition of American forces as a "desperate" move that would not achieve LONG-TERM stability.
Editor's note : The surge is working and Ann Coulter's favorite movie is, "Fiddler On The Roof." [:-[
Editor's not : No Civil War in Iraq & Thomas Wishbone Turkey is buried in Grant's tomb. [:-[
Thanks for the memories............
This holiday season let's hope Luciano & Enrico are performing opera duets in our blue heaven. [:-)
Belaboring the issue...........
If you believe unions are worthless & corporate America is fair & balanced, I've got a Verranzano Bridge I'd like to sell you. [:-0
My friend Sad Sam..............
"Jerry, When Hugh Hefner goes on a double-date, he's the only male. On the other hand, I'm in a severe slump. Last night I went out with Nina the nymphomaniac & she said, "I'm a born-again virgin, soo, hands off." Right now I couldn't score @ a 'girls-gone-wild' party with a bucket of wacky-weed." [:-o)
Note to Bill O'Reilly............
Hey Bill, Yesterday I went to my first Irish restaurant, O'Mally's in Manhattan. I must tell you, everybody was very nice. And I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between O'Mally's and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by Irish folks, primarily Irish patron ship. There wasn't one drunk, dancing on a table, screaming; 'The English suck, give me another pint of ale.' You know, I mean, everybody was - it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an Italian suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all. I was shocked, shocked, just like you, when you visited, Sylvia's. - Jerry Sangiamo. [:-[
Wait till next year...........
Oh, somewhere in this favored land
the sun is shining bright
The band is playing somewhere, and
somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing,
and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in NY
our mighty teams have struck out.
With apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer. [:-)
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This just in............
Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts is gay.
Can we handle the truth? Let's hope so. It never was, nor will it ever be a sin to be gay. [:-)
World Watch Institute..........
"Cities around the world are facing the danger of rising seas and other disasters related to climate change. At least 21 cities are highly vulnerable." {:-[
World Conservation Union..........
"Of the world's 394 primate species, 114 are classified as threatened with extinction." [:-[
Sprawl : To kill our wildlife & rape our wilderness.
This just in............
The government of Turkey said; All options are on the table. You are either with us or against us. Everyone knows the U.N. is a joke. We demand the right to invade Iraq and deal with the Kurdish terrorists. These terrorists are 'enemy combatants' and are not subject to the quaint Geneva Conventions.We are fighting them there, so we don't have to fight them here. When we accomplish the mission and the new Kurdish army stands up, we will stand down. God bless the Turkish people." The U.S., U.K., and Israel do not approve. "Can't we all just get along together,?" they said. "How safe would the world be, if every country decided to ignore International Laws,?" they argued. [:-[
The Bush administration...........
Changed regulations to allow industrial waste to be dumped in our waterways. [:-[
Guns..............
NY City Corporation Counsel Michael Cardozo will personally argue a city lawsuit against gun manufactures and distributors in Manhattan Federal Court. "This lawsuit presses gun manufactures and distributors to do the right thing and take simple steps to stop the sale of guns to dealers who REPEATEDLY fuel the black market for illegal guns.
The perfect password............
"Iforgot" You're welcome. [:-)
Cuba............
As we all know, a cat has nine lives, as does Fidel Castro. [:-)
My friend Sad Sam...........
"Jerry, When my time comes, I want to be cremated. But I told them not to light the oven until I see the Cubs win the World Series & the Lions win the Superbowl. [:-0
Caffeine - more caffeine - extra caffeine..........
Too much caffeine can cause heart problems! Talk to your doctor & talk to your children.
Signing Statements...............
As of Oct. 4, 2006, President Bush has signed 134 signing statements challenging 810 federal laws.
Editor's note : Signing Statements are legal and no one enjoys Mallomars. {:-[
Sen. Tom Coburn [R-Okla.] .................
Is blocking a bill that would allow background checks to determine whether a would-be gun buyer had ever been deemed dangerously disturbed. [:-[
Editor's note : Guns don't kill people, bullets kill people.
Bush veto............
Leave no child behind, unless the child is sick. [:-[
Inherent Powers?................
If, many years ago, my father broke the law and got away with it, can I break the same law today and claim, 'inherent powers'? Sorry, Mr. President, that pizza won't bake. [:-[
"Fairness Doctrine".........
1949 - 1987 required broadcasters to give opposing political views equal time.
Editor's note : We need to re-instate the Fairness Doctrine. [:-)
America, 2007...............
The good news : More millionaires.
The bad news : More foreclosures.
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." -
Charles Dickens.
Al Gore wins Nobel Peace Prize..........
Yes, Al is chasing windmills.....& other sources of energy. [:-)
Riddle me this.............
Where have all our National Guard gone? Send your answer to G.B. c/o the White House. [:-[
Drought...............
Conserve, conserve, conserve. [:-)
This just in............
"Cheney is the major force behind the philosophy that America has a right to inject its power through military means in other parts of the world." Jimmy Carter.
Editor's note : Sadly, it will be Cheney's call if we bomb Iran. If you are itching for W.W.3, bombing Iran is a good start. [:-[
My friend Sad Sam.........
I guess we can call Viagra, the modern-day erector set.
[:-0
Bigotry [big-a-tre] : Giant Redwood. [:-)
New book............
"The End Of America," by Naomi Wolf. Read this book!
"As nightfall does not come all at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains seemingly unchanged. And it is such a twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air - however slight - lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness." - Justice William O. Douglas.
We the people...............
Need to stop our corporations from poisoning our communities, endangering the health of workers and consumers, and corrupting our political system with massive campaign contributions and armies of lobbyists. Corporate wealth should not play a part in our elections.
How to stay healthy...........
To keep germs away, wash your hands several times a day. Do not ignore an infection. And rent the video, "Sicko" by Mike Moore. [:-)
Lou Dobbs...........
What in the world is Lou waiting for? When is HE going to write an immigration bill? Lou Dobbs, master of yellow journalism. Shame on him. [:-[
Side bar : Illegals pay Social Security taxes. Hello?
New book..............
"The Conscience Of A Liberal," by Paul Krugman.
"Universal health care could, in short, be to a new New Deal what Social Security was to the original - both a crucially important program in its own right, and a reaffirmation of the principle that we are our brothers' keepers." Buy this book!!!!!
New U.N. report..............
"The human population is living far beyond its means and inflicting damage to the environment that could pass points of no return. The report also warned of a global collapse of all species being fished by 2050, if fishing [Nets] around the world continued at its current pace."
Sprawl : To kill our wildlife & rape our wilderness. [:-[
Love is funny, or it's sad, but beautiful........
If I could delete her image from my mind, I would. [:-[
You've Got Mail..........
Jerry, If I could delete your moaning from Lampoon, I would. [:-) Big Ed.
Best Wishes,
Jerry
JerrySatire@aol.com
www.Lampoon.net
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