Lampoon.net

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Lao-Tzu.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step onto the Jet. Jerry.

The difference between one man and another is not mere ability - it is energy.
Thomas Arnold.
The difference between one man and another is not mere ability - it is the size of bank account.
Jerry.

True vision is always twofold. It involves emotional comprehension as well as physical perception.
Ross Parmenter.
True vision is always twofold. It involves emotional comprehension as well as a really good psychic.
Jerry.

The more uncertain I have felt about myself, the more there has grown up in me a feeling of kinship with all things.
Carl Jung.
The more uncertain I have felt about myself, the more there has grown up in me a feeling of total failure.
Jerry.

So much to do, so little done. Cecil Rhodes.
So much to do, so little domestics available. Jerry.

A man that studith revenge keeps his own wounds green. Francis Bacon.
A man that studith revenge keeps his job on the Sopranos.

Leisure is the mother of philosopy.Thomas Hobbes.
Leisure is the mother of Hobos'. Jerry.

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.
Joseph Fort Newton.
People are lonely because they forget to bathe.
Jerry.

Talk not of wasted affection ; affection never was wasted.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Talk not of wasted affection ; talk of unpaid florist bills.
Jerry.

Those who love deeply never grow old ; they may die of old age, but they die young.
A.W.Pinero.
Those who love deeply never grow old ; they die of a massive, you know what.
Jerry.

Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.
Albert Einstein.
Sometimes one pays most for the free Atlantic City perks.
Jerry.

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When we see a person, lost in the woods, we should try to get them off the path of self destruction. Some people need a shout, others but a whisper.

Enjoyed reading ; "Defendants Still Have Debt To The People Of New York." By Jack Newfield, in the February, 28, 2000 edition of the New York Post.